1] She was on her way to becoming a college Wouldn't even stop to to the average kid The type of latina I'd sit and contemplate with Fuck the and carriage shit, her love was never for hire Disciplined, intellectual beauty's I desire Flyer than Salma Hayek or Lopez Everyone told me, kickin' it to her was At first I thought, she didn't mess with broke kids The thug always talking about, how they smoke kids But the rich-sniff-coke kids got no "I'm not interested" is what her body language would say Everyone around the way, up trying to get in it It didn't matter how good your game was, she wasn't it All the block bitches was jealous, but wouldn't it shit, and deny to everyone that they did it 'Cause regreted the long list of niggaz that they let hit it And no one ever gave them shit except McDonald's and Smoking with thoughts of envy, whenever they lit it She intelligently and they bit it, always trying to copy But they tried to use her vocab, they sounded sloppy She had a style, all her own, and pure I was sick in the head for her, and wasn't a cure
- Jean Grae] Don't you know that, time for no man And our fate, all planned I'm blessed to know you To have loved and lost, just to hold you all night find, a reason why God came, you and I If I had the again, I'd never let you go Hold tight to love, 'cause you never know
2] Her eyes are brown and beautiful, yet and sad I used to to her occasionally, and she was glad That I just another nigga trying to get in it So every now and then stop and talk for a minute I didn't a gimmick so the minutes turned to hours On her birthday, I gave her a with flowers Then I took her out to dinner her cousin's baby shower We about, power to the people and such We more time together but it was never enough I never tried to sneak a touch, or even cop a I was too interested, in keeping it Perfectly honest and complete, she would always me "carino," And never Technique, me a new book to read every 2 or 3 weeks Forever changing the expression of my when I speak It was because of her, I even all of my freaks She convinced me, to hangin' out on the streets To stop robbin' and stealin', from people you Instead I her out to the Apollo and the Bronx Zoo, del barrio and the Metropolitan too Got to the point I was either with her or my crew So I decided one day, to tell her my feelings was I couldn't live without her so I her, facing my fears But honey's only response, was a face of tears She only sob hysterically, holding me tight I to speak, but she wouldn't stop until I left sight I like a moth who got himself too close to the light Except I didn't burn, I turned after that night
3] I went on my life, college and my career Ended up locked up an animal for a year Where the C.O.'s talk to you like they the overseer Then I got to the hole, when my exit was near At night in my cell, I'd my eyes and I'd see her Hold her close in my dreams, but when I woke she an empty cell until the state gave me parole In the summer, came back, in and on track But the fact of the matter, is I still felt Even after my mother, me, cryin' at home My niggaz would catch me thinkin', out of my zone lots of different women, but I still felt alone Relatively well-known around the New underground But I kept of her and how we used to be down The sound of her voice, and the beautiful of her hair Though gone physically, it was still there I had to do something, because the shit was too to bear So I went and visited the building she used to live The world a lot different after you do a bid Your way of life done primitive minds are still stuck in the same game Like her cousin who was on the slangin' cocaine Stepped in the lobby and the button next to her last name Her mom buzzed me up and hugged me up, like a oughta But her facial expression changed, I asked about her daughter
4] She told me that was a note for me, that was left behind She had left it there waiting, for such a long I was inclined to ask about it but she it up first I saw a tear swelling up in her eye, and she cursed She told me where the was and I started thinking the worst Reversed my position, stepped over and the door And sure enough there was an envelope with my on the floor "Nobody you more than me carino" is what the letter said
"By the time you get to read this, I'll be dead But when you left in '97 a of me went to Heaven I thank God at least I got to know love really was But it hurt me, to see what true really does 'Cause even though we never made love, you all that there was It was because I loved you so much that I had to you leave You made me the way I thought, you made me want to believe And then I up, and I let you get close to me It was to not be openly when people spoke to me This was not the way I thought my was supposed to be don't you see, I had a blood transfusion that left me with HIV Hope didn't exist for me late in 1993 I a virgin, I wish I could've given myself to you I cried in the hospital because there was no one but you that you'll meet me in paradise inevitably No matter what, keep your love forever with me"
What for the rest of the day is still a blur But I remember that I was dead, instead of her She was buried on 3rd The story ends without a And now you know why Technique, don't fucking fall in love people Hold the that you love closely if they're next to you The one you love, not the person that has sex with you Appreciate to the fullest extent, and then beyond 'Cause you never really what you got, until it's gone