1] She was on her way to a college graduate Wouldn't stop to talk to the average kid The type of latina I'd sit and contemplate marriage Fuck the horse and shit, her love was never for hire Disciplined, intellectual beauty's I desire Flyer than Salma or Jennifer Lopez told me, kickin' it to her was hopeless At first I just thought, she didn't with broke kids The thug niggaz talking about, how they smoke kids But the rich-sniff-coke kids got no "I'm not even interested" is her body language would say Everyone around the way, up trying to get in it It didn't matter how your game was, she wasn't with it All the block was jealous, but wouldn't admit it shit, and deny to everyone that they did it 'Cause they regreted the list of niggaz that they let hit it And no one ever gave them shit except and did-dick Smoking weed with thoughts of envy, they lit it She spoke and they bit it, always trying to copy But when they tried to use her vocab, sounded sloppy She had a style, all her own, respectful and I was in the head for her, and there wasn't a cure
- Jean Grae] Don't you know that, time for no man And our fate, all planned I'm blessed just to you To have and have lost, just to hold you all night Can't find, a why God came, you and I If I had the chance again, I'd let you go Hold tight to your love, you never know
2] Her eyes are and beautiful, yet empty and sad I used to to her occasionally, and she was glad That I wasn't just another trying to get in it So every now and we'd stop and talk for a minute I didn't have a gimmick so the minutes turned to On her birthday, I gave her a with flowers Then I took her out to dinner her cousin's baby shower We talked about, to the people and such We spent more time together but it was enough I never tried to sneak a touch, or cop a feel I was too interested, in it real honest and complete, she would always call me "carino," And never Technique, bought me a new book to every 2 or 3 weeks Forever changing the expression of my when I speak It was because of her, I even deaded all of my She me, to stop hangin' out on the streets To robbin' and stealin', from people like you I took her out to the Apollo and the Bronx Zoo, Museo del and the Metropolitan too Got to the point where I was with her or my crew So I decided one day, to tell her my feelings was I couldn't without her so I told her, facing my fears But only response, was a face full of tears She could sob hysterically, holding me tight I tried to speak, but she wouldn't stop I left sight I felt like a who got himself too close to the light Except I didn't burn, I turned cold after night
3] I went on my life, college and my career Ended up locked up like an animal for a Where the C.O.'s talk to you like they the overseer Then I got sent to the hole, when my was near At in my cell, I'd close my eyes and I'd see her Hold her close in my dreams, but when I she disappeared Just an empty cell the state gave me parole In the summer, came back, in tact and on But the of the matter, is I still felt cold Even after my mother, hugged me, cryin' at My real niggaz catch me thinkin', out of my zone Fuckin' lots of women, but I still felt alone Relatively well-known around the New York But I kept thinking of her and how we used to be The sound of her voice, and the beautiful of her hair Though physically, somehow it was still there I had to do something, because the was too much to bear So I went and visited the where she used to live The looks a lot different after you do a bid Your way of life changed While primitive minds are stuck in the same game Like her who was on the corner slangin' cocaine Stepped in the lobby and tapped the button next to her last Her mom me up and hugged me up, like a mother oughta But her expression changed, when I asked about her daughter
4] She told me that there was a note for me, that was behind She had left it waiting, for such a long time I was inclined to ask about it but she brought it up I saw a tear swelling up in her eye, and then she She told me where the was and I started thinking the worst Reversed my position, stepped over and the door And sure enough there was an envelope with my name on the "Nobody loves you more than me carino" is what the said
"By the you get to read this, I'll probably be dead But you left in '97 a part of me went to Heaven I thank God at least I got to know what really was But it hurt me, to see what true really does 'Cause even though we never love, you were all that there was It was I loved you so much that I had to make you leave You me doubt the way I thought, you made me want to believe And then I up, and I let you get close to me It was hard to not be when people spoke to me This was not the way I thought my life was to be Baby don't you see, I had a blood transfusion that left me HIV Hope didn't exist for me late in 1993 I died a virgin, I wish I given myself to you I cried in the because there was no one else but you Promise that you'll me in paradise inevitably No matter what, keep your love forever with me"
What happened for the rest of the day is a blur But I remember wishing I was dead, instead of her She was on August 3rd The ends without a sequel And now you know why Technique, don't fucking fall in love with Hold the person you love closely if they're next to you The one you love, not the person that has sex with you Appreciate them to the extent, and then beyond 'Cause you never really know what you got, it's gone