"Dungeons and Dragons" by Dr. Narrator: Dungeons and Dragons, Satan's game. Your children like it or not, are attracted in their weaker to the Occult and a game like D+D fuels their imagination and makes them feel special, while drawing them deeper and deeper into the bowels of El Diablo. This afternoon the Dead Alewives watch tower invites you to sit in on an actual gaming session. Observe the previously unobservable as a hidden camera takes you to the inner sanctum of Dungeons and Dragons Graham: Galstaff you have entered the door to the north. You are now by yourself standing in a room, the pungent stench of mildew emanates off the wet dungeon walls. Nightblade: are the Cheetos! They're right next to you. Galstaff: I a spell. Where's the Mountain Dew! In the Fridge. DUH! Galstaff: I wanna a spell. Nightblade: Can I a Mountain Dew! Graham: Yes, you can a Mountain Dew just go get it. Galstaff: I can cast any of right, on the list? Yes, any any of the first level ones. Nightblade: I'm gonna get a soda, any one want one? Hey Graham I'm not in the room What room? Galstaff: I wanna cast missile. The room where he's casting all these spells from! Graham: He hasn't any thing yet. Galstaff: I am though if you'd listen. I'm casting Missile. Why are you casting Magic Missile, there's nothing to attack here. Galstaff: I- I- I'm the darkness. (laughing) Graham: fine you attack the darkness there's an elf in front of you. Whoa! That's me right? Graham: He's a brown tunic and he has gray hair and blue eyes. Picard: No I don't, I have eyes. Graham: Let me see sheet. Picard: Well it says I have, well it says I have blue but I decided I wanted eyes. Graham: Whatever, ok, you can talk now if you want. Hello.
Hello. Galstaff: I am Galstaff, of Light. Picard: how come you had to cast Magic Missile? (laughing) Graham: Y- Y- Y- You guys are attacked. Do I see that happening!?! Graham: NO! outside by the tavern. Cool, I get drunk! Graham: Ugh. There are are seven ogres surrounding you. Picard: How can they surround us? I had Mordenkainens Watch Dog cast! No you didn't. Nightblade: I'm getting drunk! Are there any girls Picard: I totally did. You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure, and I said no, but I need material components for all my spells, so I cast Mordenkainens Watch Dog. Graham: But you never cast it. Nightblade: Roll the dice to see if I'm drunk! Ugh. Yeah you are. Nightblade: Are there any there? Yeah! Picard: I did I completely said when you asked me... Graham: No you didn't. You didn't say that you were casting the spell so now there's ogres. Ok. OGRES!?! Man, I got an ogre slaying knife! It's got a +9 against ogres! Graham: You're not there, you're DRUNK! Nightblade: Ok, but if there's any girls there I do them! Narrator: There you have it. A frightening look into Americas frightening past time. Remember that it's not you children's fault that's their being drawn into a satanic world of nightmare. It's their gym teachers fault for making them feel out cast when they couldn't do one single pull up.